Factors of everyday life can put an abundant strain on a relationship. Severe stressors may include resentment, infidelity, intimacy issues, lack of trust, and miscommunication. When problems go unresolved, or a partner is suffering from mental illness or health complications, one can feel helpless or have feelings of guilt or shame. Communicating effectively on both parts can alleviate emotional anxiety from subjects of all kind.
Couples often seek couples or marriage counseling when the relationship is at a standstill, or if they are unsure whether or not the relationship is worth salvaging. This type of therapy can benefit families with children who have been affected by relationship issues such as divorce, and confront the source of the conflict.
Treatment techniques may include the following:
• Narrative Therapy - This refers to each person relating their personal version of events, situations, and participants. This often results in two very different narratives and it is the discrepancy between the two versions that we seek to resolve.
• Emotionally Focused Therapy - This refers to the feelings each party has in reaction to the present situation, often colored by the events of the past and unresolved feelings from the past. We work towards resolution and correcting the distortions in thinking that we all bring to stressful situations.
• Analyzing Your Communication - When upset, clarity of meaning diminishes often due to the use of toxic language more reflective of feelings than a clear assessment of the differences that are under discussion. Substitution of harsh words with more exacting words is an important tool. Language is a powerful mediator of emotions.
• Getting to the root of the problem - This is often a longer, slower portion of treatment. Most of us are wedded to notions of our past and this helps distort our picture of reality. Examining ones own embedded ideas from several perspectives brings about flexibility of thought which leads to clarity.
• Individual Counseling - On occasion, couples counseling gets bogged down by an issue that is difficult for one partner to get past. It is then useful to do some individual work with that party to help the marital work progress.